dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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