Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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