i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if only i could text you this smell
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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