I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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