I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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