I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize