the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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