I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize