sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize