Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize