I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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