walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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