I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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