I'll bet she douches with gravy.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize