My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Panties = found
Randomize