Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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