p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize