u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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