When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
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I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize