I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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