I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
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