i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize