so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize