I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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