Just fell off a train. Bad.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
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you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
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Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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