Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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