there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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