Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize