The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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