She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
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Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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