Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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