At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i now understand why vodka
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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