I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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