yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize