I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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