It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
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He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You're like the curious george of whores
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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