she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Welp...herpes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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