Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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