i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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