just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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