We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
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Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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