My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize