i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
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A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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