Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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