brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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