I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize