As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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