so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
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what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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