I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
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PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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