belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
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I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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