i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I need water and some morals
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